It Can’t Be Both Ways

This morning, my mother sent me this email (graphics removed because they’re annoying):

Now this is customer service!

GOOD MORNING, WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, a Christian nation, land of the free and home of the brave.
How may I help you?
Press ‘1’ for English.
Press ‘2’ to disconnect until you learn to speak English
And remember only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ
And the American Soldier.
One died for your soul,
The other for your freedom.
 If you agree.. Keep it going
2012 IS COMING A Nation of Sheep Breeds a Government of Wolves! I’M 100% for PASSING THIS ON!!!
Let?s Take a stand!!!
Borders: Closed…
Language: English only…
Culture: Constitution and the Bill of Rights!!!
Drug Free: Make a drug screen mandatory for anyone on welfare and/or food stamps!
NO freebies to Non-Citizens!We the People are coming
Only 86% will send this on.
?Should be a 100%?. What will you do?

So here is what I sent her in reply:

Don’t send me this shit.
Having a religion is a lot like having a penis. It’s great to have one, it’s great to be proud. But when you whip it out and start shoving it down people’s throats, it becomes a problem.
Also, this isn’t a Christian nation. This is a nation based on religious freedom.
The top part of this email says that we’re Christian only, then the bottom says our culture should be the Constitution and the Bill of Rights? I know this is a reference to the Second Amendment, but here’s the problem: religious freedom is on there too.
As for “Drug Free”? I support the legalization of marijuana.
Remember, I voted for “the nigger.”

Now furthermore,
I support a revolution. This government has outlived its usefulness and cannot be corrected from within the system. It needs to be replaced.

I support the legalization of marijuana. For more reasons than I can count, it’s the right thing to do. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain to you why. If you want to understand, I suggest researching it somewhere other than Fox News.

I support gay marriage. As someone once said “Or as I like to call it, marriage. Because I parked my car this morning, I didn’t gay park it.”

I support religious freedom. That means I can be whatever I want to be and you can too. It doens’t mean you get to scream at me about Jesus, but it does mean that if you do, I will politely tell you to go fuck yourself. And keep your shit out of our schools. If you want Christianity in schools, then go to a private school. You can’t afford private school? Then get off your ass, parent your children, and teach them yourself. All religions are mythologies not theories and therefore should be taught as such. I want my children to be taught that facts are facts and fairytales aren’t real.

I am also quite frankly terrified at the concept of “86%” of people passing this hate-spweing ignorant piece of filth on when it should not only be erradicated from the face of the earth but the people that passed it on should get a sound caning and the original writers should be shot. What? That’s inhumane? Actually, it’s better than prison. Fine. Gas. Whatever.

Also, I’ve pretty much had it with not only this nation’s governing body, but about 98% of the population, so you can all kindly go kick rocks and leave me alone until I can get out of here and move to Canada.

If I seem hateful, well, I’d apologize, but I am. As I said, I’m absolutely sick about everything this nation has become. Don’t misread me; there was always corruption and ignorance, but everything that was wrong, everything that made this nation sick or weak has been allowed to fester and now those same wounds are infected and the pus they are spewing out is filled with ignorance, stupidity, and a general disregard for anyone but themselves and their own narrow-minded, discriminatory, sin and hellfire dogma. The Jesus they cite as a reasoning to not allow the things they oppose is not the Jesus in the book they refer to. The man who preferred the company of lepers and whores? Jesus, who said you should turn the other cheek, not bomb them until they submit? These people, who tout about how we need to defend the Constitution and the Bill of Rights while continuously voting for people who not only initiate and continue unconstitutional wars, invasions and occupations, but who also constantly enact unconstitutional legislature here at home? They rave about freedom while refusing to vote for policies that would give us freedom and constantly vote for things that take it away so they can be “safe.”
No. No, I’m sorry. They don’t deserve anything but my resentment.

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